Hump Day Pillows

'Yes! Wednesday lunchtime! Half way to the weekend!'

"I was celebrating Hump Day and ended up with Throw-Out-Your-Back Thursday."

"Happy Hump Day!"

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

Pampered and poodled.

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

'Gee, where are all the crowds this year?'

"I'm getting too old for this..."

"We're waiting to see if he'll see his shadow."

A Journalist's Weapons

"Well, you gonna spin?" "Ah, maybe after another Breaking Bad."

"So, are you predicting an early spring?"

'Camel'

"Punxsutawney Phil can also predict the political climate."

"I predict six more weeks of winter...But I'm sure we'll tough it out."

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

"For the glory of God Almighty, and in the names of the munificent King and munificent Queen of Spain, I do on a day—either a Friday preceding or a Monday directly following a weekend that is earlyish in but toward the middle of October—in this year of our Lord, 1492, claim this land."

Doc, I've got a phobia about shadows.

'They did it again - not a word in the weather report about an ice age.'

We're waiting to see if he'll see his shadow.

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

"It's just the usual Wednesday crowd."

A man reads "Traffic Times" while stuck in traffic.

"Hello, my Baby! Hello, my Sweetie! Hello, my Ragtime Gal..."

"Look, Phil, I can see your shadow!"

'The groundhog won't come out of his hole. He's too hungover from super bowl Sunday.'

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

'Not only did he say I can circumcise him, but he also said there'll be six more weeks of winter.'