Humorous Relationship Insights Prints

"When I first met him, he wanted to change the world for me. Now, I'm lucky if I can get him to change his underpants."

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

Reading the sports pages.

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

Aging Problems

'His ego needs lipo suction!'

Missing Persons - "50 years old, 16 stone and bad tempered... Are you sure you want her back?"

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'What d'you mean, I never take you anywhere-who took you to the Festival of Britain?'

"You knew I was high maintenance when we met."

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

Still Lives: 'What's wrong, don't you love me anymore?'

'Have you beed seeing other females?'

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

'I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer.'

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

'I used to think it was her red dress, but I've discovered I find your mother irritating in any color.'

"Ah-h, her comes my better half now."

"At first, Dwayne's gymnastic prowess had mesmerized Sarah, but now she longed for more..."

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"