Quirky Relationship Humor Prints

'I don't worry about Harold putting the cap back on the toothpaste. He never takes it off!'

'My sister married some bum of a copy machine — he only works now and then!'

"Carl, I'm pleased that your experimental serum has finally allowed you to evolve into a giant grasshopper, but I just can't see myself having a relationship with someone whose ear is in their knee."

Life is for the birds.

"First date hairball... awkward."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

"It's Doris Kearns Goodwin. Is there anything we'd like to know about the Presidency?"

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

'His ego needs lipo suction!'

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

Still Lives: 'What's wrong, don't you love me anymore?'

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

'I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer.'

What do I want out of our relationship? Same thing anyone wants. Good value.

'I used to think it was her red dress, but I've discovered I find your mother irritating in any color.'

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

"That word-puzzle gloat of yours is getting old fast."

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

"Manfred, don't get so defensive!"