Humorous Heavenly Seeker Pillows

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"OMG, LOL!"

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

"I hope you don't mind, but I stuck in a little prayer for General Motors."

"Imagine! In the past year alone, Thomas Jefferson has learned to speak Swahili and play the glockenspiel."

"I brought my worn out shoes because I heard that confession was good for the sole!"

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

"Looks like we're in trouble now...he's got four bars on that thing."

"And God called the light day."

'We've discovered a massive dust and gas cloud which is either the beginning of a new star or just a hell of a lot of dust and gas.'

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

"Are you sure that this is really the way? I thought there was a staircase or highway?" "Maybe we should just go back down and pray!"

God working clay on a potters wheel creating a vase with a person's arms and legs sticking out.

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'

'Those are just phrases your going through.'

'Your accountant is insisting you return...something about dying inefficiently!'

"That's the first time I've heard 'My Way' played on a harp."

"Totality was great, but now that it's over I'm like, 'What am I even doing?'"

Man about to enter a therapy session, with the doorbell showing a 'depress' sign.

"I'm not sure if this proves there was intelligent life on this planet or not."

'Do you have a spot close to Bob Hope?'

'You should not steal the eggs from the hens because god sees everything!'

'I'm sorry, but you missed too many easy layups.'

Monk at prayer, "and take care, if anything happens to you we're sunk!"

Jesus Suddenly Realizes It's Almost Father's Day

"Okay, I'll see what I can do about getting a copy of the autopsy."

"I started out as an astronomer, but the stars made me feel insignificant."