Humorous Haunter Pillows

"Come on, Tom ... get an afterlife, will you?"

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

'The circle is complete!'

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Four

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

Easter Island Cheeseheads

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

'So who needs sonar?!'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"Let's just go in and see what happens."

A Club Sandwitch.

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"Garden variety allergies."

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

Burnout Syndrome...

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Spot Quiz....

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

Inflatable Duck Boat

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

"By God, Man! Yes!! This is the stuff we're looking for!"

Soccer coach of the year.

Two Men Angler's In A Storm.

Book: 'From prey to predator in 30 days.'

"Nasty sunburn."

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'