Humorist Who Loves Food Puns Pillows

"And that makes 6! That should be enough to cater for the function tonight. . ."

"War is hell and so is this soup."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Wife: 'Ah, honey.....why are you covered in raw fish and rice?' Husband: 'Oh I was running late for the 6:15 and got on a darn sush train by mistake!'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

Filet minion

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Lockdown casserole

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

Garlic Free Zone.

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'