Humorist Who Loves Food Puns T-Shirts

"And that makes 6! That should be enough to cater for the function tonight. . ."

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Wife: 'Ah, honey.....why are you covered in raw fish and rice?' Husband: 'Oh I was running late for the 6:15 and got on a darn sush train by mistake!'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Filet minion

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Garlic Free Zone.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Lockdown casserole

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'