Humorist View Seeker Gifts

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Copycats

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

I will study my speling words...

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

Outer Space Outsourcing

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'Fetch.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'