Humorist On Wheels Pillows

Speed Bumps.

The SUV: A T-rex on wheels.

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

Congestion Evasion Device.

Left Lane Must Turn Right, Right Lane Must Turn Left, Nice Try!

"No, that isn't the engine knocking. That's my knees!"

Bob's Driving School.

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

A Semicolon.

'Beware of SUV.'

Very drunk professional cyclist

'One carry-on!'

"Which was harder to work out - quantum physics or his wife's mind"

'There's a fee for each carry-on bag, including your bag of chips.'

Straddling bus stop above a regular bus stop.

'It's a surprise for my husband, he isn't going.'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

'But this IS my mobile home!'

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

Airbus

Lucky car.

No Hand Signals

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

Tour de Lance Over. Next year the To de France returns!

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

De-Caf Drivers Right Lane Only

Clown Bike Rack

'Oh look! We must be coming into land at Heathrow.'

'Don't be so velodramatic!'

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

'This model runs on antibiotics.'