Humorist Of Romance Pillows

'I've just discovered how much we two have in common - including my boyfriend!'

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

Sexual chemistry set

'Your place or mine?'

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

Tunnel of Like.

"How barbaric! Females should be wooed by colourful displays, not fighting!"

"Honk if you love me!"

'Sorry, but my car is a hybrid and I wouldn't accept anything less in a husband.'

'I love you, Howard, but let's not jump to conclusions.'

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

'Will you marry me, Gloria?'

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

"I think it was good for me. Was it good for you?"

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

'How much would you take off for cash?'

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

"Or...we could suggest a three-way."

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

Dating in 2020

"This mask is a bit of a passion killer. . . !"

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

Homophone Encounter

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

The stone is semi-precious, so I got you two.

"It's perfect! You're a government redactor, and I'm a broadcast network word bleeper."