Humorist Of Romance Pillows

'I've just discovered how much we two have in common - including my boyfriend!'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

Sexual chemistry set

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"Honk if you love me!"

Tunnel of Like.

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

"How barbaric! Females should be wooed by colourful displays, not fighting!"

'Sorry, but my car is a hybrid and I wouldn't accept anything less in a husband.'

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

"I think it was good for me. Was it good for you?"

'Will you marry me, Gloria?'

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

'How much would you take off for cash?'

'I love you, Howard, but let's not jump to conclusions.'

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"It's perfect! You're a government redactor, and I'm a broadcast network word bleeper."

Homophone Encounter

"Or...we could suggest a three-way."

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

'For the last time, Butchie, I love you but I'm not in love with you.'

Dating in 2020

"This mask is a bit of a passion killer. . . !"