Humorist Of Relationships T-Shirts

"Seriously I won't be offended - feel free to self-isolate."

"Chips?! Oh yes, in the old days, we used to have chips almost weekly, but then, his girlfriend moved in."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"April Fools'! You should’ve seen the look on your face!"

"You're hogging the covers again!"

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

Always Compatible

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

I think you'll find that I'm easily encouraged. For instance, the fact that the two exclamation points above your head are tempered by one question mark gives me great hope. !?!

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."