Humorist On Relationships T-Shirts

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

"You're hogging the covers again!"

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Always Compatible

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

I think you'll find that I'm easily encouraged. For instance, the fact that the two exclamation points above your head are tempered by one question mark gives me great hope. !?!

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"Well, hello there, Boo Boo. Where's Daddy?"

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

'Actually, I do mind wearing your pedometer!'