Humorist In Science Gifts

Neutrinos travel faster than light!

'Teenagers!'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

Schrodinger's Black Box

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

She loves to play with string theory.

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

How Glaciations Begin

Cell Bar & Grill. Happy Hour All Day. The new owner is an endorphin.

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

"...I think we've found the missing link!"

The new Physics