Humorist At Heart T-Shirts

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

'Ah, Gutenberg, I'm just writing an article about your silly bookpress.'

"Well, the hills were alive with the sound of music...I'm sure!"

"What are we doing? I think the real question is, what are you trying to hide?"

"I'm sorry, but to reach our diversity goals, this position must be filled by someone who is gluten free."

Why lawyers should never try to write their own vows.

The mortician's lunch-box.

"I'm not beached. I just don't swim on Saturdays."

Bob's Musical Intruments - "I'll have a cornet."

Casino on board Airbus A380.

'Really? -- the hokey-pokey IS what it's all about?'

Why you need to be specific with a G.P.S.: 'You have arrived at the most exciting destination of your life...'

"I'm getting the hang of this wake up every morning, and do basically the same thing with different complaints until I die."

Bedtime Of The Gods

Jesus at the Tomb

'Try aiming for the wall - maybe then you'll hit the target!'

"Honey, have you seen my onions?"

Man using half eaten doughnuts on his model railway

'My wife insisted this is where I spread her ashes.'

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

"You'll never believe what kind of bumper-to-bumper warranty this baby has."

"Okay, now that I'm not wearing trainers or jeans can I come in?"

Employee of the Month

'Oh, wise guru tell me the secret of success, Oops tell me how to fly!'

'He came in for an inverview 3 hours ago, and I made the mistake of telling him to make himself comfortable.'

'I told you not to order the chocolate cream surprise.'

The Horse Rider.

Saving up for a rainy day.

What do you say to people who think politicians are only interested in money...give me a fiver and I'll tell you.

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, some assembly required.'

"I'm thinking of going into sit up comedy."

What we were promised...What we got.

"Look Fred, are you going to play, or are you just going to clown around?"

'I see you list one of your hobbies as rambling.'

'Oh Doris!! I just love what you've done with the place!!'