Humor Specialists Pillows

"When you people start working eggs into the conversation, it's really code for something else,right?"

'Everytime I kiss him he says he can't breathe.'

"We'll have to stop meeting like this. Don't look now but I think the wifes hired a couple of private detectives."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Copycats

Polly txt speak

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

I will study my speling words...

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Dog Walking Services

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"When is my next parole hearing?"

Outer Space Outsourcing