Humor Scientist Pillows

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

She loves to play with string theory.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

How Glaciations Begin

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

The new Physics

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

Evolution...the dandy lion.

Evolving/Devolving

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

Evolution...the wifi rhino.

Complex equation results in the conclusion that cats are better than dogs.

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

'He's majoring in cave hydrology with, obviously, the ultimate aim of being a caveman like his Dad.'