Humor Lover Gifts

"New Year's Resolution - Stay This Good-Looking!"

Bottle Opener Strikes A Red Wine Well

Taking the dog for a walk.

"The Vesparados"

Optimist/Pessimist/Me

"Slicey, Trappy, Bogey, Toppy, Mulligan, Hooky, Threeputty

"And did that make you feel like a little bitch?"

"Do we have time for this?"

'I must warn you, I know tai chi. We can step outside and settle it like men, but it will have to be in slow motion.'

Loaves and Fishes - Buy 2 get 5000.

Try our frogs' legs

"It's a girl!"

"First of all, there was a bee in the car."

"I was a dog in a previous life, but I came back as a god."

"Touche!"

"Nonsense, Mother. You'll probably outlive us all."

"Actually, these aren't bad times to be delusional."

"Oh, I see you're busy, so I'll keep talking."

"If only I'd thought to take my damn phone with me, I could be getting some work done."

'What took you so long?'

'It's all here in teh fine print. You're not covered against huffing and puffing.'

"It's funny how two intelligent people can have such opposite interpretations of the tax code!"

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now, when?" "This just in" "1. Nobody - 2. A schmuck - 3. Maybe tomorrow."

Octopus Shadow Puppets

"My word! I do believe that your hat is eating mine!!"

Cowboy Probe

"Og discovered fire, and Thorak invented the wheel. There's nothing left for us."

"That's an old photo."

'I have your test results. Your sugar is too high.'

"He's long gone, sheriff - you'll never catch him."

"Oh, thank heavens!! A fourth!"

'Whenever I complained that my feet were killing me, nobody believed me.'

Slot machine.

"I really want to thank you for these great telepsychiatry sessions, doctor. The format lends itself to easing my anxiety and feelings of inadequacy around others."

'Knee replacement huh? I'm pretty sure Thunder wasn't given that was an option.'