Humor In Legal Settings Pillows

'I hate juvenile court!'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Bailiff."

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"We make crime pay."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

A baby in court

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"At least he's honest about it..."

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff client's bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

Baby's first words.

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

'Judge Mental.'

Lawyer sees street sign: Parallel Paralegal Parking.

"Well the good news is that we came top in at least one category of the latest diversity tables..."

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

"We find the defendant 'guilty', …. not that there's anything wrong with that."

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

"...And now show us what you said."

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'