Humor In Home Projects Pillows

'Yep. I used to use chemical to strip wallpaper, but the cats are more efficient, and there's no nasty smell.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

'I really hate cleaning this thing.'

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'No it's still not fixed'

How to Build a Bungalow

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

Dog Bookends

'Hey, I just mopped the yard.'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

Wallpapering 4

"I hardly think you can call waiting for updates to install doing nothing!!"

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

'There's nothing romantic about not being able to mend a fuse at your age!'

Do it yourself -- get someone else to do it -- get son to do it -- pay -- don't bother doing it -- move house

We're with the gutter cleaning service ….

'We decided to rent out the back room until the baby comes.'

"It's not much, but we've made it our own living hell."

Oh, yeah, we love having a walk-out basement.

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

'No-one else would brag about being on Rogue Traders.'

'That must be the termite inspector.'

"The carpet really brings the room together."

'That's not what I meant when I asked you to add a second bathroom, Roger.'

'Have a nice day, dear. . . no need to get up and make coffee.'

"So I said 'Would it kill you to do a little yardwork?'"

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

Goldfish in Bowl, "And this is the sitting room and the bedroom and the toilet and...."

"We'll take it."

'I just find it interesting. You remember everything except where your dirty clothes go.'