Humor In Holy Places Pillows

"Fantastic service, lousy food."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

United Church of OMG

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

'He may be the Messiah, but he's no Springsteen.'

"'Host' and Cheese?"

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

'That Smith kid just invited us to his church on Easter Sunday!'

Vicar In Spectacles

'I understand there have been complaints that his sermons weren't getting through to the teenagers.'

"OK, OK, Dad. I'm up... I'm up."

'In compliance with Federal full-disclosure laws, I'm required to tell you that I'm really not all that sure about some of this stuff.'

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

"Did he say 'commandments' or 'suggestions'?"

Buster got religion in the pound and now works with other bad dogs.

Submarine Sees Jesus Walking on Water

"She's not a happy camper, he forgot to make the booking, someone's in for a silent night!"

Pray it Don't Spry it.

'Put the kettle on, Doreen.'

Moses parts the Red Sea.

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

Football or no football, that's not how we pass the plate.

"Peace on earth. Goodwill to all men and who ordered the triple cheese with extra pepperoni?"

Clergyman and Working Girl

'I create them, I liberate them from Egypt, I give them manna, and now they want me to make the sun stand still!'

'Hello, Madame, we'd like to talk to you about cod...'

'Why should I pay you for washing the windows when the good Lord provides?'

"I'd like to talk about the existence of deviled eggs among the lay-ity."