Humor In Holy Places Pillows

"Fantastic service, lousy food."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

United Church of OMG

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

"'Host' and Cheese?"

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

Vicar In Spectacles

'That Smith kid just invited us to his church on Easter Sunday!'

'I understand there have been complaints that his sermons weren't getting through to the teenagers.'

"OK, OK, Dad. I'm up... I'm up."

'In compliance with Federal full-disclosure laws, I'm required to tell you that I'm really not all that sure about some of this stuff.'

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

"Did he say 'commandments' or 'suggestions'?"

'Put the kettle on, Doreen.'

Submarine Sees Jesus Walking on Water

Buster got religion in the pound and now works with other bad dogs.

Moses parts the Red Sea.

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

"She's not a happy camper, he forgot to make the booking, someone's in for a silent night!"

Pray it Don't Spry it.

Football or no football, that's not how we pass the plate.

"Peace on earth. Goodwill to all men and who ordered the triple cheese with extra pepperoni?"

'I create them, I liberate them from Egypt, I give them manna, and now they want me to make the sun stand still!'

Clergyman and Working Girl

'Why should I pay you for washing the windows when the good Lord provides?'

'Padre, if I told you, then I would have to kill you.'