Humor In Health Regulations Pillows

'The law requires me to inform you that everything you've ordered may be hazardous to your health.'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

"I don't leave home without it!"

Scary Halloween ICD-10 codes.

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"The doctor will now glance in passing at you."

'I told you nothing was out of joint but your nose.'

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

Doctor's poker.

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

'I'm referring you to a doctor with better attorneys.'

"We'll get your food going as soon as the exterminators are done in the kitchen."

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

"He's our newest partner, we can't afford to be as selective as we used to be."

'And out hospital has rooms...lots of rooms, and some beds, and we've got stairs.'

"This can't be right. I was supposed to lose 20 lbs before my next annual exam - maybe I should postpone my appointment for ... another year."

"The bad news is my doctor limited me to one glass of wine per day. The good news is I get to pick the glass."

Is there anyone here from 'customer care'? Could you tell them I'll ring back as soon as I've got my new kidney in!

'So for the record...age you admitting that there are circumstances in which you would not demand an MRI scan for a child with a sniffle for purely budgetary reasons!'

"Are you in there, Mr Elkins?"

'I see a VERY important note from your doctor. Unfortunately, I can't read her handwriting.'

'These are from my attorneys for malpractice suit.'

"Do you have someone to drive you home after your surgery? My car's in the shop and I could really use a ride."

"It's the online blood bank. Do we want to continue shopping?"

"His last words were 'Yodel-ay-he-hoo.'"

"Thanks for reminding me, doc! I just forgot that I've got Alzheimer's!"

"There was nothing you could do. It's not your fault if the patient doesn't show for the operation!"