Humor In Daily Life Pillows

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

'I can validate both your feelings and your parking.'

Holiday Gifts 2020

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

How it started: How it's going

"Yes, Myra, I do still love you. What I don't love, however, is this exit poll every damned morning."

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

"Brad, if you can't say 'I love you' without using finger quotes, I'm outta here."

"Not too much off my back."

Oldies.

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

'What do you mean you're a vegetarian?'

'I'm bored.'

'What I wouldn't give for some good eczema medication!'

Dear Bertha - I'd write more often, but I always seem to be out of ink! Love, Oggy

"Pie and coffee for me. And a pair of underpants for Mr. Right here."

"The fax machine ate my homework."

"You don't need a prescription, Mr. Beesley - you need an iron...."

"Now where did I park my car?"

Life bingo

"Going to the vet for worming tablets is so embarrassing: I order mine online now..."

'I don't know why you use the lid to this thing. It's so much more fun without it!'

"I got a bad papercut from my health magazine!"

"Happy Hump Day!"

"When dealing with Americans, refer to the heat in Celsius. They hate that."

"How about a quick espresso before school, Toby?"