Humor Food Fan Pillows

'The chili special and a corn dog? Okay, pal -- it's your life.'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Filet minion

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

Lockdown casserole

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Better Not Squash.

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

Cooking with Pierre

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

'Good news - we're merging with Mellman's Jelly and Alpine Toast.'

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

Murderous Chef

'He's cured.'

'Trust me, Madam, that fish is fresh!'

Road Kill Cafe.

"The other waiters just spit in the food of rude customers, not in their faces!"

'Trouble cutting pickled onions.'

'Of course I'd never have so much as looked at Timothy if it wasn't for his nose for truffles.'

'I tried the new restaurant today: they have a three course menu...'

The Chef's dumplings were his speciality.

'Apparently, the carrot cake really is to die for.'

'So this is a kitchen!'

And then I said, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." So he said "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." Of course, I had to say, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." It happens every year -0 the turkey never fails to put him to sleep!"

"You're not totally useless around the house - you make a great appetite suppressant."

'Whale DNA was added to my embryo and now all I crave is plankton.'

Couple in restaurant, "Sorry it's slow, Chef's got the runs"