Humor Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"There you are. I've been looking all over for you."

The Crossroads of Wisdom: Past Mistakes, Future Gambles and Listen to Your Wife.

You can't smell an online profile...

'We may well be looking at the straw that broke the camel's back.'

"Anything to declare, aside from personal bankruptcy?"

'Well, I guess window washing is not my chosen career!'

'The secret of life has been unknowable ever since we assigned it to a committee.'

Need Grooming Money Please Help.

"Eww! -- Is that the only color bandage you have?"

"If you want to be more like Mom and Dad, kids, you've got to start pounding down those Shirley Temples."

"Tell him to fetch his own damn slippers."

'Book me a Greek holiday - I want to break plates!'

"Atilla the DMV employee"

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

Worried Too Much. Worries Too Little

'My mother was a real bitch!'

Text message: You have lettuce in your teeth.

"I was going to sue the neurosurgeon, but then he changed my mind."

"You might fake an illness at home, but here, only a fever makes her a believer."

What men and women see when they look in the mirror.

Non-Profit-Organization

Nancy Drew Mysteries - The Later Years

'Studies show that most boys my age don't like to read. Who am I to tamper with statistics?'

"It feels like people are always trying to avoid me."

'Cricked Neck Clinic' sign says 'Out to Lunch' hung sideways for patients to read.

The Knee-jerk reaction committee.

'Unexpected victory.'

'I guess I don't need to ask how your new hip is working out.'

'You're both so qualified, so I've decided, this only fair way to choose a new secretary - whoever can grab this banana first!'

Birds: in hand - $1.50, in bush - $.75, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

How to grow up.

Cosmetic pouches.

Child reading book: Understanding Your Parents' Behavior.

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

"He said it could be about 45 minutes, due to the global economic slowdown."