Hummus Pillows

"Not gelato – hummus."

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

Atomic Bear: Part 22

"I see the downsizing continues."

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

"This is a computer speaking. I will now misconnect you and your party."

'Don't call us, we'll call you, inc,'

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

Call Center.

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

"Hurry up and pick that lock. I'm hungry and it's freezing out here."

I'm afraid nurse Wilcox can't have a supportive caring chat with you until she's had the appropriate training.

'Never mind what I'm wearing!'

"Operator, I'd like to make a person-to-person call, and I'd like to reverse the roles."

Room for Error

'Oh, so you want to get nasty? Well, two can play that game! Remember when I told you to have a nice day? I RETRACT IT! Oh, yes I can! I just DID!'

'No, sorry. You've reached Dragons. Payroll is on extension 4702. Shall I put you through?'

'Callers will be answered in the order of their Fortune 500 ranking.'

'I don't know, Al... A dumpster in the middle of the woods! Seems kind of fishy to me.'

RSI

"It's more of a conversation piece, really."

'Yeah, we're pretty much automated...'

Connecting to the Cloud.

After budget cuts, emergency services streamlined their phone services.

"My dad's going to be upset about that "D" on my research paper. He worked all night on it."

'You still get three wishes, but the orders are now taken by an operator in Thailand.'

"Care to try the dip? It's posthummus."

"Your call is very important to us. Please hold the line...for eternity!"

"Hmm Hmm. Hmm Hmm."