Humility Pillows

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

Jesus Christ

"What did you swallow" - "My pride"

"I do a lot for charity but I don't like to talk about it. . ."

Man prays: 'Lord help me to be humble, and I want that by 10am Monday.'

"To tell you the truth, I never thought downward mobility would be so, well, downward."

"Of course I want to have kids, Claire - just not all the time."

'It's not a bad little kingdom - as kingdoms go.'

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

'If there were such a thing as reincarnation, I would prefer to come back as myself, of course.'

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

Caution Fragile

'The problem with being a Chihuahua is that everybody calls me 'Pepe'... My name is actually Humphrey Reginald Windsor the Third...'

'Thank you for the job offer, sir, but I find that unemployment helps keep me humble.'

"I'll be back later, dear. I'm going out to build some humility."

"I find it difficult to like him. He's too good at being humble."

Baron de Munchausen

Exercise for the end of the day...

'Brother Jerome has a problem with humility, but he can't bring himself to admit it.'

'As a teleworker Colin enjoyed being reminded how terrible commuting used to be.'

"And the funny thing is, the humans still think THEY'RE in charge."

"No, I'm not wearing a black sweater. My black cat sheds a lot."

'Nobility vehicle'

'Call me anti-social if you want. The pants stay on.'

"Eve, how come every leaf has fallen except yours?"

“Please—outside of work I’m not your boss. I’m just Dave with the nicer car, bigger house, and three-hundred-dollar haircut.”

'Still musn't grumble it could be worse!'

"I am so past enlightenment."