Humility Humorist Pillows

"I am so past enlightenment."

'Brother Jerome has a problem with humility, but he can't bring himself to admit it.'

'Thank you for the job offer, sir, but I find that unemployment helps keep me humble.'

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

Ethics exam cheater.

Ice Cream Surgeon

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'It feels warm enough to me.'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

Bed and Breakfast

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

'Your ten percent tip.'

'What a bargain!'

'Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.'

"Would you consider selling me the TV and movie rights to what you just told me?"

'I'm sorry, but the soup of the day was just tripped over by the employee of the month.'

"Of course I want to have kids, Claire - just not all the time."

"What did you swallow" - "My pride"

"The doctor's running late. Feel free to catch up on your binge watching with our waiting room TV."

"Apologies for the delay. Your eggs Benedict should be up soon."

'That pest in 453 is being discharged.'

"I've never had a day's illness in my life. I always make it last a week."

'We're really sorry!'

'Tonight's defibrillator complements of the paramedics at the bar.'

"Next time you ask the maid for extra towels, be sure to tip her."

Talented Waiter

Yogi Comedy: A yogi comedian tells a yoga joke. '...is this thing aum?'

Nightmare Hotel Tea Trolley

Recycle your problems. Many of our neuroses, hang-ups and character defects can be re-used by others.

'We've talked it over, and we've decided to hold you for observation.'

"I find it difficult to like him. He's too good at being humble."

Cheeky Devil and Thief LTD