Humble Humorist T-Shirts

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

"Of course I want to have kids, Claire - just not all the time."

"No, I'm not wearing a black sweater. My black cat sheds a lot."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'Pink isn't EITHER the new black!'

Daffodil bulbs

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

Jesus Christ

Mary Margaret, the best bar nun.

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

Surreal Ale Pub.

'Vacuums!'

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

'Sorry son, I bought you an ice-cream at the corner shop, but it melted on the way home...'

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

'I can dish it out, but I can't take it.'

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

"I've never had a day's illness in my life. I always make it last a week."

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

'I'm screwed...'

"What's the difference between being addicted to painkillers and just really, really liking them a lot?"

'Thank you for the job offer, sir, but I find that unemployment helps keep me humble.'

"Could you put me 'on hold' Mom? I could use a hug."

"Well, you've fianlly done it! No more rainforest left!"

"You must cut down on your smoking."

"Wisdom is growing your hair long so the hairs growing in your ears don't show

"Dude, don't say it..."

"This was the best school day of the week!"

"I've forgotten your face but I remember your mask."