Humble Chuckler T-Shirts

Jesus Christ

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

"Of course I want to have kids, Claire - just not all the time."

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

"Hey, bro...it's the least I could do."

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

Caution Fragile

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'

Fisherman buying fish on the way home...!

Man tries to shake clinging dog off his leg. Dog says to another dog: 'I suppose you could say I'm a people person.'

'Time's up, chuckles.'

"No, I'm not wearing a black sweater. My black cat sheds a lot."

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

"And now, if I may, I'd like to put You on hold for a moment while I have a few words with Mammon."

-What did the carrot say to the onion? -What? -Nothing, vegetables don't talk!

An idle lap is the devil's workbench.

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"

"Our charity would appreciate a donation, but I am not willing to fight you for it."

'Alimony is like having to pay instalments on a car after you have written it off!'

Thank God for the misfits and dregs of society!