Humble Gourmand Pillows

"Of course only buying 'organic' CAN be expensive! Another pea anyone?"

Party Animals.

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"Here's your dessert. A guilt counselor iss standing by to help you once you calculate how many calories you've consumed."

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"Mom, vegetables may help me grow and give me energy, but what if I want to be short and underachieving?"

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

"Cemetery Pie"

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

'It seems the environment people, the health department and the food and drug administration all have reservations about his place.'

Endangered Entrees

"I hate how we stigmatize eating by calling it a feeding frenzy."

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

"I want a wine that's wise but unassuming, and not ashamed of a screw on cap."

'Bad news... all our tests came back with you as delicious.'

'Creme Vichyssoise?' 'I'll have a cheese roll.'

Weight Loss Cheat.

Newspaper headlines before and after Christmas.

'Yes, I think God still would want you to say grace for asparagus and carrots.'

"Where do you draw the line?"

'We thank you for this food, but we wish you gave us enough sense to avoid all this cholesterol, salt and all these additives.'

"Hmmmmm -- Choices, choices..."

"Your apple surprise, sir."

"This is my shame spiral pepper spray."

'The flavour of this is great so far - pass the pickled onions and rasberry jam.'

"Thank you for the chicken and thank you for the rice. Thanks for the spinach available on request."