Humanity's Dark Past Explorer Gifts

Human History

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'Don't ask me why but he feels a great deal of pride in calling it his 'man-cave'.'

'It's an extinction notice.'

'The dreaded Anachronisaurus strikes again!'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

Early attempts at standardising currency.

'Put that down your fool! It's a bone of contention.'

Peace in shackles.

Sign on wall of spacious empty hall of museum: 'Air & Space Exhibit'

Robot Attack in Bath

Rudyard Kipling

"Archaeologists discovered several enormous ancient cities buried under the jungles of Cambodia. That means the Khmer civilization was the largest empire on Earth from the 9th to the 12th centuries. That changes everything about our conception of the Middle Ages. What was your conception of the Middle Ages? Well... it was... well, knights, maidens, dragons... mostly dragons. And elves."

Cavemen. Wheel being burnt with fire.

'I'm inventing the wheel, and I'd like you to be my SPOKESMAN.'

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.

Archimedes statue tipped up by a lever.

Grimm's Fairytales - The Golden Bird

'Whadoya mean, WHOOPS?! That stuff doesn't grow on trees you know!'

"I can't for the life of me think of a caption for it. I guess I'll just leave it as it is."

"Have you noticed how climate change looks and feels the same as colonialism?"

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

Ferdinand von Zeppelin

Colay's glass bottom boat tours!

'Here, you have it. I don't think I'll be using it again.'

Don Giovanni

Cave painting by numbers

'All this 'history' stuff you teach about - is it based on actual events?'

"What the heck does 'gnark gort' mean? Maybe I should come back when you learn speech."