Human Resources Specialists Pillows

'Dr.Davis was beginning to wish that he'd taken a little more care in wording his advert.'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Staff support"

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

How leaders fail

Outer Space Outsourcing

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"