
Way too much information on your resume.
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Way too much information on your resume.
"I think he's overreacting a little when it comes to controlling his employees."
'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'
Office: Empowerment Drawer.
"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."
The Choice is Obvious
"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."
'I like thinking inside the box.'
"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"
'They traded their 'Casual Fridays' for 'Immature Mondays' . '
"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "
'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'
'Refusing to fill in a psychometric test reveals a lot about you, Jones.'
Executive Lifestyle
"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"
"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."
"The art class look - oh, you mean flung shui?"
"I don't think this is a good place to work. Every time I fire someone or lay them off, they actually celebrate."
"Wild Blueberries"
'You may be serving Him up there, but don't forget...I'm boss down here.'
"I'm getting back to being able to enjoy the little things—like firing people."
"He shows enormous potential."
"We'd like to switch you from working under the radar to living off the grid."
"This isn't the employee retention program I had envisioned."
"On my right is Mr. Darius, who'll fill you in on our corporate counterculture."
Rush Limbaugh
It says if we give up our tea breaks, we can retire three years earlier.
'Alright, alright... go ahead and have a pony tail!'
Office with a fake suggestion box.
I'm on Break.
'How about some beef stew? -- the wusses from the Health Department made us discontinue the chili.'
'Those responsible for setting the cafeteria ablaze while burning you in effigy have yet to step forward, sir.'
My new trash pickup day is midweek, on Wednesday. Hump-day dump-day!
"But this is the way we've always done it."
"When I said 'any questions?' I was using only a figure of speech."
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