Hr Department Pillows

"What company do you see yoursel starting when you leave this one in five years?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

"Morning, all!"

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

The best financial decision I ever made.

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

'Being offshored isn't exactly what I expected.'

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

'Yes, can I help you?'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"Welcome aboard. We will endeavor to treat you with dignity and respect. Now get you and your stupid face out of my office."

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."