Hovac Hiker Gifts

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 9.

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

"When are you gonna roll in something?"

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"I love the things I say when I’m in nature."

'Hello there, how y'doin'?'

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

Wherever the Trail Leads. . .

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

"It's the adorable snowman!"

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

"Daisy, that fall broke my leg pretty badly. You need to go get help, girl - oh, what a big stretch! Who’s a good stretcher? Daisy’s a good stretcher! What a good girl…"

"Just lemme finish my coffee."

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

'I need it for my electric blanket.'

Bear Signpost.

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

"Stop whimpering. Most dogs would kill for a walk like this."

Large bird chases bird watcher up a hill.

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

"You've got a friend in me."

"I see you've come a long way, Perkins."

The secret to happiness is knowing how to keep a secret.

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

Kelly couldn't recall mating with a condor, but then there was that New Year's Eve party...

"I told you it was a universal truth."

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

'Too proud to wear glasses, Bob gets what's coming to him.'