Hovac Hiker Gifts

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 9.

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

'Hello there, how y'doin'?'

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"I love the things I say when I’m in nature."

"When are you gonna roll in something?"

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

Wherever the Trail Leads. . .

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

"It's the adorable snowman!"

"Daisy, that fall broke my leg pretty badly. You need to go get help, girl - oh, what a big stretch! Who’s a good stretcher? Daisy’s a good stretcher! What a good girl…"

"Just lemme finish my coffee."

"You've got a friend in me."

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

Large bird chases bird watcher up a hill.

'I need it for my electric blanket.'

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

"Stop whimpering. Most dogs would kill for a walk like this."

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

"I see you've come a long way, Perkins."

Kelly couldn't recall mating with a condor, but then there was that New Year's Eve party...

The secret to happiness is knowing how to keep a secret.

"I told you it was a universal truth."

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

Bear Recycling.