Housing Upgrader T-Shirts

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

TV: widescreen 16x9 versus 4x3.

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

'Here comes Mr. 'Smarter-then-you'.'

'Well, I finally made the switch from cable to satellite.'

Resume Consultant. Listing professional development courses you've taken since your last job was fine, but don't put"New & Improved" above your name.

"Can you de-schlump him?"

Rudy, am I correct that you and Armstrong each just upgraded your laptops? Yeah, so? And last month, if I'm not mistaken, you and Armstrong each upgraded your phones. Again, so? Don't you see what's happened to you and Armstrong? You've synchronized your cycles. What? Your upgrade cycles! They're in sync! What in the world are you talking about? What in the world indeed?!

"I can't believe I went so long without A.C."

I can be upgraded, can you?

'Oh, we haven't used a crystal ball in years.'

A fish jumping from a tank that reads "Tropical fish $5.00" into a tank that reads "Tropical fish $20.00"

"It's quite alright searching for the perfect phone. But remember there always will be upgrades."

'Management is upgrading all the hardware.'

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

It's the Fad Herald. I should've upgraded my phone. Hear ye. Today, a special announcement. The following is now in: Hope. Until further notice, that tingly, expectant feeling you're experiencing may be interpreted as optimism, mild euphoria, the illusion of better times ahead. Wow. Now that you mention it. Cool. Wait ... What do you man by illusion? Looking ahead to 2020 trends: Disappointment. Nah. We'll be fine, I'm sure.

'I'm sorry Sherman, you're dumped. I could never go out with sombody who uses out of date tech.'

'It's for the office computer. It's been replaced.'

"Wherever he is, I know he'll be upgraded."

'Nice penthouse.'

"Okay, this summer I've been able to buy a speaker system and a full set of dash knobs. Only 4,387 more parts before I have my own customized ragtop."

"I think you need to update your mobile device."

Location location location - Next 3 Exits

"If you're going to use a TV as your computer monitor, I suggest investing in a new model."

"Our smart home just texted us. It said instead of binge watching shows, we should be updating it. It wants us to start with the kitchen."

STRIP Hambone: expensive new computer model

'Let's just see how intuitive this software really is.'

"I wish I hadn't rushed out and bought this model, your new model is much better!"

'How do you do it? You don't look a day over 3G!'

STRIP Hambone: 'We've finally paid off the �23,000 on this one...'

A hermit crab moves home

Are you saying I have no control over when I upgrade my devices? In effect. You've got some kind of subconscious internal clock that drives you to regularly buy a new phone, or TV, or video game console. And there's nothing I can do about it? So it would seem. How freeing. Does this revelation come with a new credit line? Go away.

"Why didn't they do all these updates at the computer factory?"