Upgrading Home T-Shirts

A hermit crab moves home

Let's get organized

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

Painting by the numbers for adults

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Painting the Ceiling

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

'I found the termites!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

"You're welcome."

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'