Houseplant Conversationalist T-Shirts

'Maybe you're telling them more than they can assimilate.'

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

Bonsai tree held up by matchstick

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Money Plant.

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

Thanks

"Hey! Plants are on sale again! Woo-hoo!"

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

"This one looks as though it could use a little nurturing."

'So much for talking to plants. I distinctly heard it tell me to shut up!'

House plants

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

"I've appeared in Eastenders."

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

The Houseplant Cemetery.

"Of course working from home is different. . ."

"Here's the new smart plant...it tells you when you're overwatering it."

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

Being-convinced your plants always know what you're thinking phobia.

"May I remind you that our prenuptial agreement called for me to take the plants?"

House Plant Party

Person Who Shouldn't Get Married

'You're putting coffee grounds in the plants again, aren't you?'

The Houseplants vs The Kids

In the houseplant cemetery.

"Oh god, here she comes again, insisting she's helping."

"It's just thrived since I let it have Harry!"