Housekeeping Staff Prints

Dust Bunny

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"I didn't spark joy."

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

Kitchen Kapers

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"I had to skip my workout."

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

Prawn Cocktail Please

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"This is your new solar powered dryer?"

Chef copy robot

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

'It comes with three settings. Single, Married, and Children.'

Bathroom Fairy

Cook and her Maids

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

"What's happened to Quiche?"