Household Economist Gifts

'This is interesting -- We've now spent more on ATM fees than we did on our first house.'

If the Fed can loosen it's money supply, why can't you?

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

"I can tell it's new because it's alive."

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

"Here's your sweater back."

'As your financial advisor, I'd have to advise you to change your main income provider,'

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

'With the economy the way it is, I'm going to have to let one of you go.'

Traders joining Wall Street protests

'You're not supposed to use fabric softener on ARMOR!'

'It's a new record, mom - there are six of us in here!'

"I think it's time we cashed in our spare change. We could probably pay off our house."

The Heating Oil Problem.

Here's one I made earlier.

'I'm all for GM food, it's done wonders for my profit margins!'

One young wife asking another if she finds it more economical to do her own cooking.

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

Man ironing out a line graph.

How to save on your heating bill...

"Today we learned how to put cherries on cupcakes!"

Chicago School of Home Economics

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

'Of course the Smiths have more than we do. His wife works.'

'I love your crocheted computer cover darling, but can I take it off now?'

"Well he's sweating, pale, and out of breath, but then again he's not used to being home doing the housework."

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

Chefs

'You told me I should run the house like a business, so what am I bid for dinner?'

'It's similar to the government's system of checks and balances. I write the checks and you try to balance them.'