Household Chore Critic Gifts

Take out the Trash

Kitchen Tetris

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

Washing Line Walker

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

'Just so you know, leaning on a rake and looking at the sky is not 'yard work', and thus may not be entered into your 'I do so help around the house' defense.'

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"Just empty it."

'We already have a helper monkey for that.'

'I didn't forget to empty my pockets. That's your tip.'

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

'Well, dear, I did tell you to stay out of my way when I'm vacuuming!'

'Yes it's a conspiracy theory, he's never ever done the washing up.'

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

'I TOLD you not to wash it in warm water!'

Home Schooling: "And this is what we call the 'washing machine'."

Tunnel of Laundry.

"Let's take it on board and see if any of our women know how it works."

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

'Washing dishes, why?'

"Are you using the right size nail for mother's picture?"

"Laundry day?"

'That Riding Vacuum has given our marriage a spark I didn't think was possible.'