House Training Pillows

'Everybody passed the 'housebroken' test except for Rover.'

"The dog sent me a text, I think he needs to go out."

"Out! Damned Spot!"

"Now I want a straight answer, that didn't get there by itself.."

"Sometimes I think he goes outside, rolls around in the mud, then comes in and shakes it off on us on purpose."

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Polly txt speak

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

Overjumpers

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'Bert's dog training.'

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'