House Relocation Aficionado Gifts

"If we pull this off, we've made burglary history!"

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

She left lots of photos out so the cat wouldn't miss her while she was away...

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

' Oh no! I'm being repossessed! '

Real Estate Personals

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

You dope! Why would you build our home right next to a power plant?

"it appears I'm being relocated"

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

'They're playing house.'

Highway Advisory - Move to Arizona.

Snedly and Snedly, the first company to leave the city, and take their buiding with them.

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

'Yep. I used to use chemical to strip wallpaper, but the cats are more efficient, and there's no nasty smell.'

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

UP Again: Housing Prices.

'Here's a house that needs fixing up. Are you handy with money?'

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

New Homes

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

Mattress sale

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

Turtle Eviction

Changing house name.

"Did I mention it needed a little work?"

Moving Van.

Another over-do-it-yourself project.

Estate Agent: Houses with Hedge....Houses Without Hedge