House Hunters Pillows

"They're willing to throw in their kidneys."

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

'According to my owner, buying this home was cheaper than building me one.'

'I was hoping for tile floors and more closet space!'

'The meaning of life is loction,location,location.'

'Dream House Only $89,000 ... Move in and dream of something better.'

'Look, they're slowing down.'

'And you hardly hear the neighbours, just the occasional shot gun bang.'

Mortgages up 'Where?'

'And, as advertised, beautiful sea-views...'

'Well, goodbye. And thanks for your feigned interest.'

"I hadn't realised things were quite that bad..."

"...and I'm sure you've already noticed how deep the carpet pile is!"

"I think they're trying to tell us we've stayed to long."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

'We'll take it!'

Open House of Horrors

'The roof needs icing.'

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

"I want to live in a neighborhood where I can walk around at night."

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

Emigrating to France.

'It's a long and narrow home: A perfect fit for you Mr Eel...'

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'