House Hunter Pillows

"Hi, come on in to our impressively well-constructed, picture-book colonial home, ideally located on a quiet tree-lined street among the area's finest residences."

'I'm just sayin', maybe we should look for another real estate agent!'

'And in addition to a great room, this home has a cool room,super duper room and a totally awesome room.'

"Great location, new roof, central air, underground storage tanks full of toxic waste, double garage, ceramic tile?"

"It's in a very, very, very good neighborhood."

'The roof needs icing.'

"Good news, they accepted your offer!"

For Sale.

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

House between undesirable neighbours is 'For Sale'

Almost sold.

'First the assets...The taxes are low.'

"I realize you're anxious to sell your home, but I think one sign will be sufficient."

"We find curb appeal very important."

'Now this is home just went on the market this morning.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'Everything goes with the house exept the lawn. They're taking that with them.'

'And this is the walk-in clos..' - 'We'll take it!!'

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'

'Not only is it a mortgage we can afford, but it will be easy to sell with that indoor pool!'

'Gentlemen, please!! That was just our first offer!!'

Seller's Market

'Also, you'll never have to spend a penny for heat.'

"Does the water always come through the ceiling like that?"

'I know its access is limited, but its got potential.'

New home - should have got a survey.

'The acting was awful and the plot was thin, but the mortgage rate looked interesting.'

'What do you mean, you forgot about the coalmining search?'

'Sure, it doesn't look very big from here, but it's just the tip of the iceberg...'

'And this must be the pool you mentioned in the ad.'

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

'It's not really for sale, I just don't get many visitors out here.'

'Okay. But apart from the low ceilings, what did you think of the house?'

'We've talked it over and we've decided we'd like to make an offer.'

'And the property is in the catchment area for good local Alcoholics Anonymous groups.'