House Hunter Extraordinaire T-Shirts

Homeowners.

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

"Well, you did say that you were looking for a detached property."

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

'The roof needs icing.'

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

Emigrating to France.

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

'It's a long and narrow home: A perfect fit for you Mr Eel...'

'The owners are a bunch of clowns.'

Home Foreclosed Home.

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'

Rising Housing Costs vs Wages.

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

"The roof is old and leaks. The good news is when it rains you'll get an additional 3 showers."

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

'This is close enough.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

"I'm going to look for a mortgage...I may be some time!"

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

Estate Agent - 'They're all mine.'

"This is a lovely three bedroom detached property, with close proximity to Heathrow and the M25!"

It doesn't matter if our house is made out of bricks, we've got a sub-prime mortgage!

House for Sale.

"The only thing we seem to have in your price range is a bird box in Billericay."

"This isn't a fixer upper. It's a down-and-outer."

'...and you may notice a few of the previous owner's personal touches.'

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

"They're willing to throw in their kidneys."