House Hunting Aficionado T-Shirts

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

'No, this is not the dream Cape Cod, 3BR, 2 1/2 BTH, 21 FT LR. This is the charming Dutch colonial, 2BTH, 4BR, L6 Deck, 6AR.'

"...and the �50,000 includes the ill-will of course."

"It's really too much house for us, but Fran and I plan to live in the walk-in closet and rent the rest."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

'We'll take it!'

Open House of Horrors

'The roof needs icing.'

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'It's a long and narrow home: A perfect fit for you Mr Eel...'

Emigrating to France.

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

"I want to live in a neighborhood where I can walk around at night."

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'The owners are a bunch of clowns.'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'

Home Foreclosed Home.

Rising Housing Costs vs Wages.

'It is a huge property, originally built by a Condor: Perfect for a large family...'

'This is close enough.'

"Well, it is a good property. The price is low because it is harder to negotiate due to its S-bend configuration."

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

Realty. Remember

"The roof is old and leaks. The good news is when it rains you'll get an additional 3 showers."

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'