Hotel Hideaway Enthusiast Gifts

Honeymooners!

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

"Enjoy your stay at the Bat Hotel. Breakfast is at 7 a.m. The guano bucket is down the hall and to the left."

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

The idea of a wo-man cave was looking better and better.

'I really felt at home there. The food was awful!'

City Travel...rat race special! 10 countries in 10 day: 'I need a vacation'!

"Mind if I take a bath first, pet."

Harbor Hotel: 'Absolutely NO swashbuckling after 10 PM'.

'Room service? Please send up some fish oil.'

Sparrow Hilton

Room service.

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

'I brought my mini bar with me.'

'We only have rooms with real teeth left!'

Excess Baggage: Forcing your homebody spouse to accompany you on a business trip is generally not a great idea.

"A double room with twin minibars, please!"

Medical Emergencies on Holiday.

happy bellboy carrying suitcases

Live Elevator Music 3-7:30.

"I'm so tired I can't think straight. Give me a room that's idiot-proof."

Travel agency warms people passing by.

Chamber Pot - En Suite

'Ah, you must be the cleaner. I'm the dirtier.'

'I'm finished with the towels so I left them on the floor. Now where can I leave my husband?'

'I'll take the room for Winter: Please put a 'Do Not Disturb Until Spring' sign on the door...'

"Relax. You're the one who wanted to stay at a theme resort"

Agatha Christie slept in this room... or was it room 17?

Motel Check-In. Would you like a wake-up call?

"Is that the corporate rate?"

"Does anyone else's robe say 'Hyatt'?"

'There aren't any towels in room 211.'