Hotel Comedy Fan T-Shirts

'Room service? Please send up a towel. In a minute sir, someone's using it.'

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"Why do they do that?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

Bad fake tan day.

Giraffe Umbrella

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

A Fairytale Update

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

Vlad the Impala

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

"Out damn Spot

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"That is an outrageous slur."