Hosting A Holiday Party Pillows

So glad you could make it!

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Sloaney Pony.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

Wine Lady

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

Join me in a Martini?

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Party time.

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

A child interrupting family prayers

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"I think it stopped breathing."

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

Thesaurus Company

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

"I've got a strict work/life policy at work... Anyone who has a life doesn't work anymore!"

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

Barbecue

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

"If you dress in a costume that they can't figure out, they feel guilty and give you more candy."

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

How to read the dress code?

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

"My compliments to the sommelier."

'Tea minus one hour thirty minutes and ten seconds.'

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'